Is Grandparenting for the Birds?
When I tell children the story of Noach and his sending out the birds, I always ask them if they know what a dove is.
Many describe a beautiful white bird. Others think of their bath soap or a magic trick they have seen. They love hearing how the dove returned to Noach with a fresh olive branch in its beak, promising a new future, Yonat Shalom!
But the same Hebrew word, yonah, also refers to a pigeon. Pigeons and doves are essentially the same creature, belong to the single biological bird family Columbidae.
Ask children about pigeons, though, and you get a very different response. They will tell you about a sandwich stolen at a picnic, a noisy flock, or a funny character in a Mo Willems book. The pigeon is often known in Hebrew as tzipor hame'atzben, the annoying bird.
In Parashat Noach, we notice the differences between the raven and the dove: their appearance, their dedication to the task, and their outcomes. The yonah is the clear hero.
But what about the yonah versus yonah? The dove versus the pigeon?
How does the same bird become a symbol of peace and hope in one setting and an annoying nuisance in another?
Perhaps the real question is not which bird we are, but how we carry ourselves in our everyday flock.
We may not all get to be the dove who returns to the ark with an olive branch, bringing a message of hope and renewal. Most of life is much more ordinary. We are busy with work, family, responsibilities, and the thousand little interactions that fill our days.
But perhaps that is precisely where our greatest opportunities lie.
We can wait for the grand gesture, the perfect conversation, or the moment when our wisdom is needed. Or we can recognize that the way we carry ourselves in the everyday flock matters, too. The small moments of attention, the willingness to listen, the warmth of a greeting, and the choice to make room for someone else can all bring a little more peace into the world.
This is especially true in our relationships with our children and grandchildren. We want to be the grandparents who make a difference, who pass on our values, who offer guidance that will stay with the next generation. Yet our influence is not measured only by the lessons we teach or the special memories we create. It is also built through the ordinary experience of being with us.
Joyful, intentional connection begins when we recognize that these everyday moments are opportunities, not interruptions. We can choose to be present, to show genuine interest in the person in front of us, and to create relationships in which both generations feel seen and valued.
We do not need to wait for an olive branch to make a difference. We can bring warmth, curiosity, and connection into the lives of the people around us, right where we are.
Perhaps the goal is not to be the extraordinary dove, admired for one remarkable act. Perhaps it is to bring the best of the dove into our everyday lives, becoming the kind of presence that makes our family flock a little more peaceful, a little more joyful, and a little more connected.
JOYFUL
Notice the ordinary moments when you bring joy to your family. A shared laugh, an interested question, a warm welcome, a little time together. Don't wait for the olive-branch moment to appreciate the difference you make. What is one small, everyday interaction you can enjoy more fully this week?
INTENTIONAL
Think about the qualities you admire in the dove: peace, hope, and the promise of a new beginning. Choose one quality you want to bring more consciously into your family relationships. How can you embody it in an ordinary interaction this week, rather than waiting for a special occasion?
CONNECTION
Consider how you show up in your family flock. Are there everyday habits that help your children and grandchildren feel comfortable, valued, and connected to you? Choose one small thing you can do differently this week to strengthen that connection. You don't need to change the whole flock. Start with the bird next to you.
Becoming the Grandparent You Want to Be
What kind of grandparent do you want to be?
Not the perfect grandparent. Not the grandparent someone else tells you to be. The grandparent you want to be.
Join me this fall for a six-week journey through Torah wisdom, reflection, conversation, and practical ideas for building meaningful relationships with your grandchildren.
Together, we'll explore the lives of the first Jewish parents and ask what their experiences can teach us about the real-life questions of modern grandparenting: connection, boundaries, values, joy, legacy, and the relationships we hope to build.
https://grandplan.pro/profile/workshop
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbanit Sharona Hassan
Founder of Grand Plan
Did you listen to the Connecting Jewish Grandparents: The Grand Plan Podcast this week? It was completely different from this Weekly.
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Use this learning in honor or memory of someone you love.
A parent.
A grandparent.
A child.
Whether celebrating a joyous life-cycle event or honoring the memory of those no longer with us, it is a meaningful way to connect the generations and mark a legacy.
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