What If You Misidentified Your Harvest?
A few months ago, a friend's son came running excitedly to tell his family that they had pomegranates growing in their yard.
The whole family gathered around the little tree, looking at the small buds beginning to form. The tree had been planted by their gardener several years earlier, and suddenly it seemed as though they were about to enjoy their very own pomegranates.
They started imagining them on the Rosh Hashana table.
Would they be ready in time?
As the weeks passed, however, the little buds barely seemed to grow. Rosh Hashana was getting closer, and it became clear that they weren't going to have the pomegranates they had been anticipating.
So they did what many of us would do. They asked AI for help, sending along a picture of the tree.
The answer was unexpected.
That isn't a pomegranate tree.
Those weren't baby pomegranates at all.
They were strawberry guavas.
Suddenly, the disappointment looked a little different.
They weren't going to have the pomegranates they had imagined, the traditional Yehi Ratzon fruit sitting on their Rosh Hashana table.
But they had something else growing in their yard. Something they hadn't recognized.
They weren't going to harvest the fruit they expected.
They were going to have the delight of discovering a completely unexpected Shehecheyanu fruit.
And I wonder how often we do something similar in our families.
We have an idea of what our "harvest" is supposed to look like.
We imagine the grandchildren who will love the traditions we love. The family gatherings that will happen every year. The conversations, visits, Shabbat meals, Jewish practices, shared memories.
And then something grows that doesn't look like what we expected.
A grandchild isn't interested in the tradition we thought would matter to them.
A relationship develops differently than we imagined.
Something we worked hard to cultivate doesn't seem to be taking root.
And it can be very easy to look at what is growing and think:
This isn't what I planted.
But maybe the question isn't only whether we got the harvest we expected.
Maybe we need to ask:
Do I know what is actually growing?
Sukkot comes at the end of the agricultural year. It is a time of harvest, a time to gather what the earth has produced.
And it is also Zman Simchateinu, the season of our joy.
Perhaps there is a connection between the two.
Joy doesn't necessarily mean getting the harvest we planned for.
Sometimes joy comes from recognizing the harvest we have.
That doesn't mean pretending that disappointment isn't real. If you wanted pomegranates and got strawberry guavas, you are still allowed to be disappointed.
But disappointment can keep us looking at what we didn't get.
Curiosity allows us to notice what we did.
So this Sukkot, I'm wondering:
What if something is growing in your family that you haven't recognized yet?
Maybe the grandchild who doesn't want to hear your stories is deeply interested in your cooking.
Maybe the grandchild who doesn't share your religious practices still feels a profound sense of belonging at your Shabbat table.
Maybe the relationship you imagined isn't the relationship you have, but there is another kind of connection waiting to be cultivated.
Maybe your harvest isn't a pomegranate.
Maybe you just haven't learned its name yet.
A Sukkot Reflection
Joyful. What is something in your family that brings you joy, even though it isn't what you expected?
Intentional. hat is already growing that you could nurture rather than trying to make something else grow?
Connection.Ask a grandchild: What is something about yourself that you think I might not know yet?
This Sukkot, before we worry about what didn't grow, perhaps we can take another look at the garden.
What has grown that you may not have noticed?
And maybe, like that family, we will discover that what we thought was a disappointing harvest is actually something we have never tasted before.
Becoming the Grandparent You Want to Be
What kind of grandparent do you want to be?
Not the perfect grandparent. Not the grandparent someone else tells you to be. The grandparent you want to be.
Join me this fall for a six-week journey through Torah wisdom, reflection, conversation, and practical ideas for building meaningful relationships with your grandchildren.
Together, we'll explore the lives of the first Jewish parents and ask what their experiences can teach us about the real-life questions of modern grandparenting: connection, boundaries, values, joy, legacy, and the relationships we hope to build.
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https://grandplan.pro/profile/workshop
Chag Sameach and Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbanit Sharona Hassan
Founder of Grand Plan
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