This week’s Grand Plan learning is lovingly sponsored in memory of my dear aunt, Rita Calvo. May her memory be a blessing. From Roz Bornstein.
Sometimes life does not go off course all at once.
Sometimes it happens quietly.
A little more distance.
A little less clarity.
A weakening of the relationships and values that once felt natural and strong.
And suddenly lives are completely misaligned.
Parshat Behukotai imagines exactly this kind of situation. The Jewish people have drifted far from who they are meant to be. The Torah describes disconnection, struggle, and shockingly painful consequences. But then comes a remarkable promise:
When you begin to repent - “I will remember My covenant with Yaakov, and also My covenant with Yitzchak, and also My covenant with Avraham I will remember…” (Vayikra 26:42)
When everything begins to fall apart, Hashem does not speak first about new laws, new systems, or new solutions.
God speaks about grandparents.
About ancestors.
About covenants carried across generations.
The commentators notice something unusual. The Avot are listed in reverse order: Yaakov, then Yitzchak, then Avraham.
Perhaps this teaches something deeply human.
When we are trying to find our way back, we do not begin with the most distant past. We begin with the closest connection we can still reach.
A voice we remember.
A melody we still carry.
A picture, a story, a way of being loved.
Rabbeinu Bachya, a 13th century Spanish Torah scholar, suggests that the matriarchs are quietly included in this verse as well, through the repetition of the phrase ‘and also’. Every grandparent is included, as they collectively carry relationships, memory, emotional inheritance, and presence.
This feels especially important today.
So many grandparents wonder whether they still matter in shaping the Jewish future. They look at changing family dynamics, different parenting styles, physical distance, and rapidly shifting culture and quietly ask themselves: What is my role now?
But perhaps Torah is reminding us that grandparents have always been part of how we return to ourselves.
Not because grandparents are perfect.
Our forefathers and foremothers certainly were not.
But because they carry continuity in a unique way:
the steady transmission of identity, belonging, memory, and love.
And maybe this parsha asks us not only to remember our grandparents.
But to ask:
What kind of grandparent am I becoming?
Because one day, someone may return to the wisdom, warmth, courage, or faith they experienced with us in order to find their own way forward.
How can I make these moments?:
1. Joyful. Reach out to a family member and ask them to share an old memory that still makes them smile. Notice what is transmitted not only through the story itself, but through the joy attached to it.
2. Intentional. Take a few quiet minutes to reflect on this question:
What is something I hope my grandchildren will one day remember about being with me?
Write down one quality, feeling, or experience you intentionally want to cultivate.
3. Connection. Share one family story, recipe, tradition, blessing, or piece of personal history with a grandchild or younger person this week. It does not need to be profound. Small moments are often what endure.
Wishing you a Shabbat of joyful, intentional connection,
Rabbanit Sharona Hassan
Founder of Grand Plan
Enrollment is now open for the next round of Becoming the Grandparent You Want to Be. Participants describe it as 'life-changing.' Check it out here. If you have any questions, please reach out to me. I want you to be there.
You can sponsor a weekly connection email or Connecting Jewish Grandparents podcast episode.
Use this learning in honor or memory of someone you love.
A parent.
A grandparent.
A child.
Whether celebrating a joyous life-cycle event or honoring the memory of those no longer with us, it is a meaningful way to connect the generations and mark a legacy.
If that speaks to you, I would be honored to include your dedication.https://grandplan.kit.com/profile/sponsorship
Did you listen to the Connecting Jewish Grandparents: The Grand Plan Podcast this week?
Spotify: bit.ly/JewishPodcast
Apple: bit.ly/JewishGrandApple
